SCARED And SACRED Have The Same Letters

 “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” - Nelson Mandela


I chose this quote by Madiba because it accurately describes the juxtaposition of my LIFE: I am a BLACK Woman who emanates HOPE (or I wouldn’t have the strength to get out of bed every morning). I am a BLACK Woman who embraces FEAR. (which I shouldn’t need to navigate this dangerous world). I am a BLACK Woman who embodies CHOICE (or I couldn’t make the often tough decision to live. One. More. Day).

It is my sincere desire to live a life of TRUTH. Not the brash it “hurts like Hades” type, but the genuine “when my head hits the pillow” kind. Nothing eats away at your spiritual, emotional, mental and inevitably physical well-being quite like living a LIE. So, I AIN’T ‘GON DO IT!! Besides, I consider it an honor to talk with like-minded folks about issues and isms and psyches and schisms. LOL!!

Now that being said, I do solemnly swear to tell you the TRUTH; “in season and out of season”. Or at the very least the truth as I honestly believe it to be. I’ll try to Celebrate Life, Encourage Learning, and Spread Love.

A little of my herstory:

I was reared by my maternal grandmother. (not all that usual for Black folks).
I was married “FOREVER.” I am now Single. (think about it, you know what I’m saying). I have a Judeo-Christian belief system (Father, Son, Holy Ghost, Jesus Is My Rock). I was raised in the largest majority White city on the West Coast. (it still is). I still reside here. (‘nuff said). I’m SCARED. (a lot. No REALLY).

And that is the Crux (look how similar this word is to CRUXIFICTION) of it all. How in the narrative of the STRONG BLACK WOMAN (and Ms. Maxine is EVERYTHING), do I fit in? Moreover, I KNOW that I’m not the ONLY SCARED SISTER out here. Who do I turn to, rely on, when EVERYONE depends on ME?

We are going to GO DEEPER (in the words of my Baby Auntie). Together we’re going to Cry, Cuss, Scream, Holla’, Pray, Lay Hands (hopefully HOLY) and everything in between until we LEARN to LOVE ourselves JUST THE WAY WE ARE!! ‘Cuz it’s called “EMBRACE THE CROWN.” Right? There you have it.


My name is Toye Sibley Jones, B.S. in Social Science. I am the Principal Consultant at Busura Consulting Services, I specialize in Compliance, HR and Recruitment. I can be reached at I’m interested in empowering others, I’d describe myself as an Activist and Advocate, with a Passion for People of the African Diaspora.


  1. Greetings Toya. I just joined the Embrace The Crown family as a blog contributor. I look forward to reading your posts and getting to know my fellow sisters.


Post a Comment

Have an opinion about this post? Comment.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Sign up now and Don't Miss Any Updates, Stay Connected...