Breaking Free To Be Who God Has Called Me To Be: A Journey To Healing
While in prayer, I began to do some
self-reflection about the person that I am today. You know how that
goes…there are some characteristics about “ME” that I don’t like and wanted to
know how they developed. Over time, God began to unveil some seeds that
were planted in my past that were not dealt with. These seeds of low
self-esteem, insecurities, unforgiveness, rejection (whether self-imposed or
not) took root and developed into larger issues that at times (in the present)
distorted my vision; my thoughts about “ME.”
My self-reflection also takes me
back to thoughts about my outward appearance.
As young children, especially in our adolescent years, we tend to
compare ourselves with others; wanting to fit in and to be liked by
everyone. Do you remember how we had to
have the latest fashion, and wanting to be accepted by the “popular” kids? Well, I had a problem accepting my “puggy”
nose, sort of round, flat face and so on.
But it becomes a problem when we carry these insecurities into our
adulthood. Even as an adult, when I began my natural hair journey, it was
difficult for me accept and see the beauty in my kinky coils because of the
so-called “society-norms” of today, especially in the marketplace.
But through the reading of God’s
Word, our minds are renewed. In Romans
12:2 it reads, “do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed
by the renewing of your mind. Then you
will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and
perfect will.” Renew your thinking by reading God’s Word, and watch your vision
become clearer.
When God begins the process of
allowing you to see the “woman” in the mirror, it’s not all pretty. But
when He shows you the areas in your life that need work, don’t just turn away,
allow Him to reveal them, and let the healing begin. What gives me solace is that He doesn’t see us
where we are today (imperfect), but what we are going to be (perfected).
With that said, I would like to
share a very intimate poetry piece that was birthed on my healing journey.
Healing from low self-esteem, healing from the opinions of others, healing from
the spirit of rejection, healing from unforgiveness (forgiving myself and others). Let me make this clear, sharing this through
my writing is just the beginning of my journey to healing, but I’m willing to
go. Are you ready to face the woman in the mirror?
My prayer is that after you read it,
it will help YOU to Break Free to be who God has called YOU to be. Know this, everything that He created was
“good.” Psalms 139:14 says, “I will
praise you; for I am fearfully and
wonderfully made: marvelous are your works; and that my soul knows right
well.” From your beautiful
CROWN to the soles of your feet, YOU WERE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE! Instead of being concerned about
what others say about me, I am more concerned about "who does God say I
am?
As you read, I pray that God will
minister to your heart, I decree that chains from your past, chains from
detorted thinking, will no longer hold you captive. I decree that you
will be free...FREE TO BE WHO GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO BE.
Breaking Free to be Who God has Called ME to be: A
journey to healing©
As I sit here I am holding back the tears; tears from
brokenness over the years.
Broken from perceptions, broken by the words, fears, past
and present days. A spirit of rejection resonates.
History of generational, relational, inherited
pains. Pain that has left me limping, pains that remain…from my
beginnings.
But you oh Lord, my Savior, your body was broken for me.
SATAN, YOU MUST FLEE. Jehovah-Rapha, You are my God who heals
thee.
Oh Lord, mend, heal the broken pieces of my heart, of my
mind. Broken from the pain that I’ve allowed to rule and control me. Ohhh
Lord…I’m burden down. I hear you Lord calling me to your presence, saying “Come
to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” Rest
my child, don’t you cry. Wipe the tears from your eyes.
Am I there yet? No I haven’t arrived. But I’m on this
journey, determined to thrive.
Determined to win this battle in my mind that comes and
collides. Colliding, in constant battle with the Word. Trying to
pull me down into that pit…I’m fighting with every hit.
From the fiery darts that try to block me, but I have the
shield of faith to protect me.
I’ll never forget that feeling…Feeling of loneliness, being
misunderstood. To talk about it…”Ohhhh that doesn’t do any good.” I’m
standing on His Word, with hands lifted to the sky, with the Lord my banner, I
will defeat my enemy, praying to my God…Jehovah-Nissi.
You’d say, “they wouldn’t understand how I feel,” ohhh but I
know someone that will.
This battle I’m in…a battle of depression; of disparity;
this spirit of rejection SHALL NOT RULE OVER ME.
God is breaking every chain that had you bound…Can’t you
hear the sound…A sound of victory…I’m free to be me…fearfully and wonderfully
made…ME
I hear it Lord, the breaking of the bondage chains, freeing
me from the slavery of my mind and replacing them with Your Word…words of life;
removing the strife.
I AM NOT afraid to be who You have made me: a
strong woman with hopes and dreams, with needs, vulnerabilities yet strong,
confident and determined.
I make my declaration today, I am all that YOU SAY that I
am. I am FREE TO BE ME.
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