The Importance of Influencing Your Princess To Embrace Her Crown


On our Facebook page we shared a video of a Black female puppet from Sesame Street admiring her natural hair. The video went viral and was flooded with comments. As I read through the comments a happiness that was bittersweet overwhelmed me. Bittersweet because I witnessed the young girl in women cry out about a representation we never had as children. Statements such as "I wish this was around when I was a girl," and "this made me cry" could be seen everywhere in the comment feed.

Due to the world we live in Black girls experience self-esteem issues at an early age. So early that it comes before we achieve puberty. What do we blame? Western beauty standards that influenced us to think of our hair as some ugly thing that must be transformed. This is why I was elated when I found the video from Sesame Street.

Resources that can encourage our girls to EMBRACE their crown in a world that has stigmatized the afrocentric look, is vital to their self-esteem. Below are tips I thought of based on the inspiration I lacked during my girlhood and natural hair journey.

Help Your Princess(es) Achieve Self-Love. Believe it or not you play a role in influencing your daughter or niece to love her crown. What you do or say may affect how she views her crown. It is imperative that you help your princess reach self-love so that she can unapologetically embrace her crown.

Self-love is built through praise, affirmations, and resources. Use these three mechanism to bring about self-love that will allow her to embrace and wear her crown proudly.

  • Praise: Tell your princess(es) how beautiful her hair is. Talk about her hair in a positive way. Examples: "Your hair is thick and I like it." "You have wonderful curls." Please be careful. When grooming your princess's hair never talk about the struggle. Yes the struggle is real but keep it to yourself. At times we may say "man, it is hard to comb through your hair" or "I hate detangling your hair." These remarks can cause her to hate her hair.
  • Affirmations: After the praise come affirmations. Remind your princess about how beautiful her crown is and let her say it to herself as well. If you want to get spiritual create an empowering mantra she can chant daily and have her burn sage or candles. You can also have her write a note about why she love or should love her crown, and post it somewhere in her room.
  • Resources: Recently an enlightenment happened that resulted in Black women going natural. The movement is so influential weave and perm sales dropped drastically in the past years. This awakening experience gave birth to many organizations and businesses that provide the Black community with wonderful resources to help us embrace our Blackness. For your princess(es) buy books, dolls, and even party supplies to help her love herself. Attend natural hair expos and other event with your princess(es) that are afro-centered. 

Have Conversations and Check on Your Princess. Be aware of the thoughts and emotions. Have conversations with your daughter(s) to see where she stand in terms of loving her hair. Find out what she thinks about her hair and if she ever wished to have "good hair." Also ask if she has been ridiculed or bullied because of her hair.

Make Hair Styling Fun. When I think about the various hairstyles I can execute, it makes me even more excited and in love with my hair. Come up with different hair styles your princess can wear. Also decorate her hair with bows, scarves, and beads.

This is it. Thanks for reading and comment below with inputs and opinions you wish to add. We are sisters here so don't be afraid to get personal, deep, or controversial.

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